


hoodie pouches and dog residus

by closedice (inspectorwired)



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Humor, M/M, sexy times but not really no
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:38:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspectorwired/pseuds/closedice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>so my sister requested "sexy times in australia" for some reason and i was stupid enough to open notepad.<br/>don't read this it's shit</p>
            </blockquote>





	hoodie pouches and dog residus

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry but not really

a/n even though i'm literally sitting next to you while typing this: you didn't specify how they got to this au (hahah, au. both a pun and the place. hahahahaimnotfunny)

..buckle up you're in for the best fanfiction of your life in the world 11/10 would read ya hear

"WHERE TEH-"

  
"idk bro. didnt now where this shortut lead" sans slaps a 'you tried' star on himself "oh yeah i brought you somewhere nice"  
  
"SANS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE EVEN"  
"yeah get out darling, it's not your fanfiction and we're on a date"  
  
"dunno hey 's that a kangaroo? nah i'm messing with ya that's just frisk jumping out my hoodie chestbuster style"

rawr  
  
"how did they even"  
  
(spidr)dont answer that  
lil shits  
aka it's perfectly logically explainable = if there are shortcuts why couldn't hoodies have those too  
for a moment, frisk saw something glow green, burp and tell them to buy gold while inside  
don't question the laws of physics-bending it makes sense shuddup  
sans' hoodie is a fandom black hole conFRM'D  
  
  
k so stop it sue you're not even funny (i am)  
i'm ruining this aren't i  
  
so  
with all the further ado

 

..r u ready 4teh date start !!1!$4rw//??!223456 ??? (loljk i kno ure not)  
frisk and sans teleported back to alphys' house because reasons; one of those reasons being bonetrousled away by glamour

.

.

"YOU'RE READY?? WOWIE. YOU MUST BE REALLY CRAZY BOUT ME"

"oh but of course honey i'm always ready"  
*random people run to them asking for autograms* "well"

..including couple koalas holding notes and pencils, "see darling they're Nice they brought papers with them not like these beautiful doodoobutts *writes an autogram on a girl's forehead* she squeals and faints  
ambulance comes howling, picks up the poor girl with nosebleed overload

 

nah i'm sorry they'll never be alone long enough for anything to happen sorry sister of mine i don't maek teh rules  
mettaton is too popular and also he sparkles no he's not a vampire what are you talking about

..even though you asked for skelerobo-surprisebuttsacks awyis yaoiboyxboy dont like dont read xoxoxo i'm joking (i'm not joking)  
welp.

 

sO they're finally alone  
somehow

all disturbances are removed, all special effects and sound effects on mettaton's body suspended by alphys (k almost all of them also except for maybe a camera or 20 she's not sure eheh~ the whole gang's at alphys' house eating popcorn my treat)  
, all the fans went home somehow, the fangirls high-pitched screamed away in gallop, all the kangaroos flied away in a flock, their wings flapping about

..everything is happy, so romantic, they're in a hotel room with mettaton-shaped furniture and a really sweet sexy song is playing in the background something like john cena or what's new pussycat loljk it's the mlg theme

papyrus caresses mettaton's cheek; there was a random switch there that opens the door on his booty and a condom falls out

"sweetie i told you i was prepared"

"BUT I DID NOT KNOW OF THIS SWITCH"

"i kno right, think of how hard it is when my cheek itches in public"

"very Hard", says sans to the rest of the voyeurs but the two can't hear him

how can it itch if you're a robot, asks the annoying dog looming over their heads  
papyrus shooes it away

sexy times continue; mettaton places the condom (that has a mettaton face print)  
they both wear mettaton face print underwear

so where you gonna put your mettaton shaped peepee when he's a skeleton, asks a pile of dog residue in the corner of the room

no one is happy about this

 


End file.
